I'm not into conspiracy theories but if I were, I'd say there's a conspiracy afoot that's bigger than Area 51. I am, of course, talking about the superbly organized secret society of kids. Specifically, Weird Things Kids Do and Say That Make You Go, "Huh?"
Why do little boys have this terrible fascination with poop and pee? Sam's latest thing is singing every preschool song he knows, but using the words "poop" and "pee" instead of the normal lyrics. Why is this? Now, I would imagine that it's the shock factor. He likes getting a rise out of me. But he does it even when I'm not paying attention, and he tickles himself to pieces doing it. He just likes saying "poop" and "pee". What is that about?
Tonight Sophie asked me, out of the blue, if God ever gets the hiccups. ???? How would I know? I just looked at her in consternation. And of course it made me wonder, does He burp? Does He trip over things? Does He forget where He put His chariot keys? When He calls for one of the angels, does He go through every name in the book until He finally gets to the one He wants? Can you just imagine? "Mich-Gabr-HEY YOU!" Wonder if God does that. So now I've got this whole line of thought that I can't get rid of, while Sophie, having delivered her payload of confusion, happily goes to bed and forgets she ever asked me a question. Doesn't that just smack of conspiracy to you? I tell you, the CIA has NOTHING on kids and their left-field maneuvers. And don't think, just because these are the only two examples I've got tonight, that this is it. Oh, no. These kids have confounded me lots of times, and they specialize in tag-teaming each other. Just when I come down from one messy thing with one kid, the other one leaps in and takes over. It's wrestling at its finest, and I'm sorry to say I'm losing.
Well, this is a short one tonight but it's the best I could do. They have their little club and I'd love to know the secret handshake.
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